carly.

08:37 pm: ellllooo! i just remembered live journal actually still exsisted. its funny to read old stuff and see how much things have changed and what things are still the same. i could write a book of things that happened since my last update...i don't even know where i could start.

i guess i'll start off by saying that my last year of high school is almost over. it sucks alot. sometimes i get really excited for college but then i think about leaving my friends and family and i can automatically start crying. marisa my best friend in the whole world is going 8 hours away to wvu. i wish i was going there too but i'm still waiting on rutgers. i feel like i got in because my dad pulled some strings and shit. everyone who got denied already knows, so thats a good sign. if i dont go there i will go to occ for a year or two and play soccer on their good ass team so either way its a good thing. but any how, senior year has been the shit. all i can think about it prom and wildwood and all the good times that are about to come. i'm going to prom with jursy! i owe it to him for loving me unconditionall for 5 years. i still work at the orchards, its been about 9 months and i dont plan on leaving any time soon. its a great job. i've had my fair share of the single life and different men, it was fun but nothing speacial. i missed my ant. he is my only weakness.

10:47 am: well i guess since the last entry alot has changed. i know no one will read this but i guess it could be okay to look back on.

i broke things off with anthony. things were getting pretty rocky and it wasn't working out anymore because no matter what i wasn't happy. i should have broken up with him a better way and he didn't deserve it like that at all, but i didnt have the guts to just tell him straight out. i guess i needed something like that to happen, so i could have closure. i wish people knew how i felt before they would make judgments about me. and it sucks people think that i changed. it actually makes me made that people think that because i am still the same person i just dont have a boyfriend anymore. it sucks that a boyfriend has to define who you are. i want to be me. i needed to be me. i need to make decisions on my own. i need to be able to buy a shirt that i like that he thinks is gay or stupid and be able to like it regardless and not feel like a faggot if im wearing it. its nice also being allowed to have guy friends. its nice to be able to feel like a teenager. not a wife. i needed that for so long, and im happy i have it finally. i dont feel like i made the wrong choice at all. i hope some one does read this and understands.

this summer has been seriously so fun. i have so many funny stories that i just want to tell. i ran away from the cops with marisa last weekend. i busted through a screendoor running away from a physco mother at this girls party, but i cut my arm real bad and now i have a huuuge scar that will forever remind me of a drunken summer night. i go to surf club alot even though thats kinda gay its still really fun. sorry for judging people who went to surf club before i guess i didnt know what i was missing! yesterday i got two new pairs of shoes and im really happy about that. since the last entry i got a new job that i love so much. ive been working at the orchards since april. its such a good job. i get 8.50 an hour and 9 on weekends. i like every one i work with. soccers good. finally a senior! i've been doing so good.

02:52 pm: My email's inbox is overflowing with letters from colleges that want me to play soccer for them. I guess that is good, right?

right?


right.........??


It's too bad I don't want to play soccer in college....at all.

06:37 pm: Really I feel so good today, I don't know why. Maybe because on my way home from school today my car's thermometer said it was 67 degrees and I had my windows down and sang as loud as I wanted. Maybe because I had no homework at all or maybe because Rita's opened and I got a vanilla misto and it reminded me that summer is coming soon. Formal is in exactly two months and I'm excited. Also I don't think I ever mentioned this before but Anthony is coming to the Bahamas with my family and I. Things really couldn't be better with us. Even though we fight alot and it's hard that he's at college I can truthfully say that he is impeccable and everything that I love!

What else...

I took the SATs on Saturday and it was kind of easy but I like taking my time on tests alot so that was the only thing that screwed me up. I'm positive I did good on my essay and on the english sections, hopefully math too but I really am so bad at math so you never know. Oh and This school year couldn't be going by faster.

09:01 pm: Today I looked at myself in the mirror and I had mascara tears on my cheeks and I'm sick of looking that way.


I guess today is a bad day. Some good things happened though: I found my formal dress and it's so beautiful. I love it so much. Some bad things happened: Anthony really doesn't want to go to formal at all. He says he feels funny which I can understand but like do it for me yanno? It just bugs me. What ever.


Laura's birthday present to me passed on Monday and it was the best present I got, ever. I love her so much. I'll never forget how we danced like mad to the girls who were our idols when we were little on our barbie boomboxes and how we danced like mad two days ago to the same girls who turned into women in New York City by our selves, and this time it wasn't on our babrie boomboxes, it was up-close-and-personal. We're growing up and it's wierd I guess. I can remember like it was yesterday when me and Laura would walk a 30 feet infront of our parents on the way to the beach and think we were being rebelious and dangerous. Trouble was always our middle names no matter what we did. I think it started when we gave Taylor her first really bad wedgie and we got screamed at, it was the thrill I guess because after that getting our moms to scream at us could never be funnier. One time we broke into a house that was up for sale and jumped on all the beds, our moms screamed for days. The funniest was this one time our moms were taking forever to finish talking to their friends at these soccer fields. We were so hungry and wanted to eat. Being the little crazy devils we were, it wasn't an option to walk over to our moms and politely ask if we could leave soon. So we took the keys and drove around the parking lot with the music blasting. That got their attentions real fast because the next thing we knew they were both running towards the car and screaming. I was 14 and Laura was 15. They got us back by hanging our bra's out the windows as we drove home.



I just told all those stories to no one but I guess it's cool to write this stuff down sometimes. It makes me feel okay.

09:17 pm: Ant went back to school today. He was home for a month and that month went by sooo fast it was crazy. Now it's going back to just seeing him on the weekends and that sucks so much. Just thinking about that is making me so angry and upset. I don't want to deal with this anymore, I hate it, I wish I could just go back a year and a half ago and relive everything up until September 1st rewind and do it all over again. It would never get boring and I would never have to feel like this. And what makes everything a million times worse it's actually starting to hit me that in September my best friend in the whole wide world is going to college too. Except her college is 2 hours away. Laura got accepted into Kutztown and thats where she wants to go. I try to act so happy for her but I just can't be, it's the exact feeling I had a year ago when Anthony got accepted to Rutgers. I don't know what I'm going to do not having her 20 minutes away from me. I'm not even going to want to play soccer anymore with out her, like it's not going to be fun. I'm just sick of college taking away the people that mean the most to me. Friday I went laser tagging with Marisa, Alex, and Nicole. It was so fun. I ended up kidnapping two 14 year old black boys with Marisa into my car, and it was so funny I didn't even know what to do. Well I'm going to bed now. Bye.

04:34 pm: I DRIVE NOW LIVE JOURNAL ISN'T THAT GREAT! Yes, Two saturdays ago was my birthday and the Monday after I got my license! Oh my God, thank you. It is really great to have your license, probably the best thing created on earth. So on my birthday I went to the mall and bought myself some birthday presents with my birthday money. Anthony got me beaaaaaaaaautiful diamond earrings that I love with my whole heart. After that I went to hibachi with Anthony, Carlie, Monroe, Jessica, Morgan, and Marisa. It was fun but I was so so so mad that for some reason all my soccer friends just bailed the last second, except Liz. So after Liz was like "oh, Jordan just called she got you a birthday gift! We have to go over her house to get it really quick." So we went over and guess what those little fuckers did. THEY THREW ME A SUPRISE PARTY!! That is why they weren't at hibachi! It was so fun until TJ i want a bj started getting really horny like he always does when he's drunk and told me he wanted to fuck me like a water horse. So i just left cause that was really wierd and everyone was going to sleep anyways. I slept over Anthony's and we snuggled all night long!
Anthony comes home for a whole month on Thursday! I'm so happy and excited and with Christmas right around the corner everything is perfect! Oh and I did bad on my report card :[ THREE B's and an A. I slacked this semester.

08:21 pm: Soccer is over so after school I really don't know what to do with myself. It was really sad when our season ended after we made it so far. I'll really miss every one next year won't be the same! This Thursday is Thanksgiving! It's deffinatley one of the best holidays. This year is really going to suck though. Thursday night I have to leave my Thanksgiving celebration and drive to freaking Delaware to stay in a hotel so I can wake up the next morning at 5 to play a soccer game at 7:30 in the morning! When I have kids, i refuse to put them in soccer, I'm serious. Plus it's sucking extra because Anthony will be home for 4 days and I will only get to see him like 1.5 of the days. Ugh.
My birthday is coming soon. 19 days! 21 until I get my license! I'm so excited it will be the best! I need to start practicing parallel parking though. I don't want to fail.
I've been sick lately and it sucks. Maybe it is because I had 3 soccer games at 8 am last weekend in the freezing rain, again I refuse to let my kids play soccer. Alright I gotta go caugh til I die. bye

05:11 pm: Hey Livejournal! I have been pretty good lately. Soccer has been going very well, we won the SCT title for the first time in JMHS history which was totally cool. On Thursday we are in the finals for section 4 of states, and if we win that then two games away from the state finals. I am glad we got this far because 1) this never happened in JMHS before and 2) this is the last year with all my friends. Next year every one will be graduated and my only friend will be Marisa. We had alot of good times this year, and I'll never forget this season. School has been going good, i got all two A's, an A+ and a B+ on my first report card. I could have done better with the B+ i guess, but there is always next time. I was actually kind of upset with the B+, i wanted to get straight A's. I wish I took my grades more seriously freshman year so I could have a better transcript, but it's not that bad just a couple C's. If I could redo highschool, I'd deffinately change that. Anthony is wonderful as usual. I guess you could say the whole college thing is getting easier. It still sucks saying bye everytime he goes home or I leave. I miss seeing him everyday alot. Our year and 1/4 just passed, 15 months of happiness!

06:09 pm: TAKE APART YOUR HEAD
I think that this year is going to be a really good year. I know that everyday i get a little closer to 'finding myself', or what ever that means. Today I kind of realized that I really don't want to grow up. I only felt like I was in a rush because most of my friends are older than me. Yeah, it sucks to see everyone driving since last year, and going to prom, and graduating, but my time will come. And I think I am going to stop saying that I can't wait to have a baby, because I really can. I only really wanted a baby right now because I just can't wait to dress it in cute outfits, like I could really handle having a baby.
School is going good so far, I have straight A's so that's nice. I wish I could have been good in school for all four years, not just the past two, I guess freshman year was just whack or what ever. Soccer is good also. We are doing good. I love my soccer girls too<3
As for Anthony, things are starting to look up again. Having him at college wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I see him every weekend. This weekend he came home and surprised me so I was really happy about that! The weekdays just suck, it's hard talking on the phone or the computer with all my homework and his work for college. Right now sucks too know I have to wait 5 or 6 more days to see him again, but saying good-bye gets a little easier every time. I still cry every time tough! I guess the first time saying good-bye was the worst, so the worst is over! (you can have the best of me) (im so gay) (actually, kenny from the starting line is really like homo! i couldnt believe it, Laura thought she was going to marry him HA HA!!!)

10:02 pm: on the back of a motor bike..
School started, it's okay I guess. At first I felt a little wierd being in school with out Anthony because I was always rushing to Fine Art's to meet him and now no one is there for me to meet. Last year I remember counting down the minutes of class until I could go meet Anthony. It sucks but I walk with my friends alot so it's okay. Anyways, first period I have History, I'm good at History and my teacher is nice so thats cool. Next I have French, and a wierd as hell teacher who lets us go to the computer lab everyday because she doesn't know anything. 3rd period I have gym and the best gym teacher Mr Withstandley. It's fun because Carlie is in my class. Fourth period is SAT Review Mr Linehan is cool most of the time, other times he can be a fat idiot. Soccer is good. I really don't know what I'm going to do next year when all my soccer girls graduate, UGH I HATE BEING YOUNG. I visited Ant on wednesday and I slept over. Im sleeping over again on Friday so that will be fun. Life kind of sucks right now. I miss my boyfriend.

10:30 pm: I feel so bad lately. Taking Anthony to college was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I was trying so hard not to cry alot so it would be easier for him but I know that he was scared and sad too. I visited him last Monday and I'm going to again this Saturday. It just sucks because I'm so used to seeing him everyday and now I can barley even talk to him because he is so busy with school and track. The only good thing is that I trust him so much and I know he isn't doing anything bad. It is just so hard for me because it's like having your very best friend move away, and you feel so lost and lonely with out him. I think my mom might miss him almost as much as I do. I'm so upset.

08:51 am: new slang, when you notice the stripes
okay so its 8:52 am. i just got home from a soccer party and remembered i had a livejournal so im gonna write in it. last night was fun, of what i remember. especially when me and kelly hid in the shower and kevin gorr peed while we were hidding. wooooooooooooooooooo. today i go to a yankees game with anthony, it was my present to him for our one year! i have 2 weeks left of my baby =( waaaa

01:56 pm: the summers all in bloom, the summers ending soon
whaaaaddup. summer 07 consists of:

-anthony meleo, of course!
-working at the GAP
-dairy queen
-sleep overs with anthony
-skinny dipping with laura taylor and chandler
-going to new york city with my friends
-dongoh shin
-lighting off fire works with hoss and carlie
-screaming at 14 year olds while intoxicated with hoss and carlie
-dancing at great adventure with megan and chandler
-soccer
-seaside water park
-beach
-fun!

i'm leaving for north carolina on friday. im really excited and nervous. this tournament is the biggest place to get scouted by colleges so its alot of pressure. im sleeping over lauras tonight, that will be fun!

i still got ma boii. actually this wednesday is our 1 year! we are going to cape may hopefully. he leaves for rutgers on september 1st, and i cant even explain how sad i'm going to be! we will see each other alot once i get my license, and since my dad works there he will bring him home after work and then back in the morning. i dont want this summer to end =(

08:42 pm: $
hello. no on reads this except for me LOL. i'm pretty bored right now because i'm not a senior, and i'm not at wildwood. actually i am a senior i'm just trapped inside the wrong body. saturday was prom and i had a wonderful time! Anthony looked even more handsome than usual. i had so much fun with all my friends, and the food was pretty delicious also! wildwood was fun, yet rainy, and i plan on going back next weekend. school is almost over. i did really good this year (except french), and by good that means all A's and B's and one C. I can't wait for the summer, it will be the best one yet. me and Ant are still going strong, even after 10 months. It seems impossible to imagine my life with out him, and I like it that way. We've been hanging out with Ally and Ryan alot, we always have alot of fun, especially when we play tricks on Joe Schott, and make Monroe vaccuum.

06:40 pm: i'm sick and tired of my so called fucking "friends" telling me that i am too attatched, too "whipped", and too what ever. i mean you get a really good guy as a boyfriend and they cant be happy for you? they cant even pretend that they are happy for you. they'll see one day though. im just really sick of it. i have no more friends.

04:01 pm: Everything it must belong somewhere!
SPRING BREAK '07 - DO ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING! WOOOOO

8 months of heaven<3

04:16 pm: A bad thing just happened, Anthony, Alex, Austin, and I got into a car accident on the way home from school a few days ago. We crashed into a telephone pole, and Anthony's car is totaled We weren't hurt that bad- Austin broke his cheeck bone, I got a bloody nose, Anthony got his arm burned, and Alex was okay. I'm really scared to get in a car now, I wear my seat belt all of the time (even on the bus), and I have bad dreams. It taught me a lesson though, I needed to stop thinking bad things were never going to happen to me.

Also, RIP Andrew & Shatone 3/7/07

11:57 pm: selling an empty dream, of cars and calories, and everything in between
ITS SNOWING! I hang out with Anthony every day<3 Our 6 months is soon which is good considering I never went out with any one for that long. I'm going to get my permit tomorrow! I passed the drivers ed test with a 92! ^-^

03:58 pm: I'm glad I didn't die before I met you..
So it's a new year. It will be a happy one. Lately I have been happy and nothing really bothers me anymore. I love Anthony with everything that I have and I guess that is all that really matters to me right now. I don't care what people have to say about that either. "Oh, Carly Lages doesnt have anymore friends cause she hangs out with her boyfriend 24/7". I wouldn't have it any other way. I know what people say about being too young to love someone and that I probably don't even know what love is, but I really believe that I do. I never wanted to spend forever with some one because I get sick of people so easily, but now I really, truley do. School is school. Soccer started again. Laura dyed her hair brown, thats really the only change.